Love Beyond Death
by Lucy6
Summary: The only person wo can help Buffy is thinking of skipping town. Part 1 in the Shattered Souls Trilogy.
1. Prologue

Love Beyond Death  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, etc, as they belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and everyone else who can legally lay claim to them. I am making no money from this whatsoever, and don't have much anyway, so suing would gain pretty much nothing. Rating: 15 Author's Note: Set during Season 3 of BtVS. The first part of the Shattered Souls trilogy. Distribution: Just let me know where it's going. Dedication: To my parents, for finally letting me watch Buffy just as Angel left, and to Nicky, for having the faith to post this. Feedback: Do I have to beg?  
  
Prologue  
  
Drusilla pointed the splintering wooden stake at Angel's heart, while Spike pulled his arm tight around Angel's neck. He fought to restrain a struggling Angel.almost failed. But only almost. Tears fell in streams of salt water down Buffy's cheeks, welling in her eyes so fast she could barely see. She reached for the stake held in Drusilla's vice-like grip, but to no avail. Even as she pushed against the black painted iron bars of her cramped circular cage, Drusilla prepared to stake the nightwalker that had sired her.  
  
" Nighty-night, my pet," the insane vampire whispered, plunging the stake toward Angel's heart.  
  
"No!" Buffy screamed as Angel blurred and fragmented, collapsing and dissolving to dust as he hit the rocky floor of the limestone cavern.  
  
"Don't fret, Slayer. You'll join your little lover-boy soon. We just need to settle a few finer points before you die." Spike regarded Buffy bitterly. "And don't even dream of your precious friends finding you. Me an' Dru, we've been careful this time. Left no clues for 'em to find." He smiled maliciously, recalling the luscious taste of the blood of a terrified Slayer. He'd killed two, and each had tasted simply magnificent. He couldn't wait to sample another.  
  
"And even if they do find you it'll be too late. You wanna know what you'll be?"  
  
"I could guess, if that'd be more fun for you."  
  
"You'll be dead." Spike threw back his pale head and howled, pure evil resonating on his laugh. 


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
  
Buffy Summers executed a perfect roundhouse kick, punched the vampire's stomach, pulled a stake from her jacket pocket and neatly dusted the white- blond haired female vamp. Beside her, Angel shoved his own stake into another vampire's heart. The cropped ginger hair fell to the ground, then shattered along with the rest of the skinny body. Pulling up short, Angel asked;  
  
"So, I got staked by Dru, then Spike threatened you?"  
  
"Uh-huh. He said he had to finalise a plan or something. Angel, I'm scared. What if this dream comes true? It's happened before!"  
  
"Buffy, not all your dreams come true. What else did you dream last night? Can you remember?"  
  
"Well, I - I dreamed that me an' Will killed each other, 'cause Giles had gone mad an' Spike'd managed to convince us that it was each others' faults."  
  
"See what I mean? That would never happen. You and Willow are too close for that, and as for Giles going mad? I still find it hard to believe he's ever been drunk!"  
  
Buffy smiled wanly.  
  
"That dream didn't feel ireal/i, though. The one about-" Angel drew her to him and pressed his lips against hers to silence her. Gentle at first, the kiss swelled in passion and intensity. Buffy's arms around his neck pulled her closer to him.  
  
A bolt out of the blue, she pulled away roughly, collapsing and clutching her abdomen, groaning with pain. Her face was contorted into a grimace.  
  
"Buffy, what is it? What's wrong?" But Buffy was in too much pain to be able to answer. Spots of grey light danced in front of her eyes, an eerie blackness threatened to overpower her vision. She could just make out Angel as he knelt beside her, incessantly asking what was wrong. The last thing she was aware of was being held in his strong arms and lifted off the ground.  
  
Wearing a worried expression, Angel ran just slowly enough that Buffy's delicate figure would not be jolted from his arms. He swept out of the darkened cemetery and through the little town that was Sunnydale, known by its original Spanish settlers as "Boca del Infierno", or "Mouth of Hell".  
  
Upon reaching Buffy's Watcher's abode, Angel realised that to knock would mean risking dropping Buffy, so he shouted the librarian's name instead.  
  
"Giles? It's Angel.Giles? Buffy's-"  
  
The door opened. Seeing Buffy in Angel's arms, Rupert Giles, a normally calm man, panicked, instantly assuming the worst.  
  
"Is she.? You'd better come in." Giles heard Buffy moan as he stepped aside.  
  
Invited, Angel walked in freely. He laid Buffy on Giles's green sofa, brushing a strand of hair from her emerald eyes. Giles followed.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I'm not sure. One minute we were, well.kissing, the next. She just collapsed." Angel looked at the Watcher; asked what was wrong with the Slayer he loved.  
  
"I'm afraid we can't be sure. If memory serves correctly, I fear it may be a spell that is cast by many witches to. get inside their victims, as it were. Not physically, of course, but psychologically. It enables the witch to search out strengths and weaknesses before she tries to, well, destroy her.prey, if you will.  
  
"Angel, I must warn you to prepare yourself for the worst."  
  
"Nothing could ever prepare me for. Is she gonna die?"  
  
"There is every possibility of that happening, yes." 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
"That - that surprises you?" Buffy gasped. "Isn't my life always on the line?"  
  
"Buffy, it's okay. Everything's gonna be fine," Angel intoned in an effort to keep both himself and Buffy thinking positively: Giles would just think, either positively or negatively, depending on the situation.  
  
Angel walked over to Buffy and tenderly raised her head. Slipping himself onto the sofa under it, he settled it back on his legs and lovingly stroked Buffy's blonde hair.  
  
"I hate to interrupt," Giles interrupted, "but it may not be that simple."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Well done, Crystal." Spike praised the witch sarcastically, falsely. "The spell seems to be working. C'm 'ere, Dru."  
  
"The stars will align tonight. It makes her weak." Drusilla tingled with excitement.  
  
"That's good, pet. Cos tonight-" Spike paused for dramatic effect "-we strike." He put his arm around Drusilla's shoulders and smiled.  
  
* * * * * "So, Buffy's under some spell or other, and Angel's at her house, worrying or doing who knows what, and Buffy couldn't get into school today, which, by the way, Principal Snyder will not be happy about, does that about sum things up?" Xander said from his perch on the mahogany table in Sunnydale High School's dark, dingy, but very resourceful - if you wanted information on the forces of evil, anyway - library.  
  
"In other words," Cordelia agreed, "we're in trouble."  
  
"To be perfectly blunt, yes, it would appear so. And especially due to the lack of a healthy Slayer."  
  
"Note, Giles," Xander responded, "The words 'We're in trouble' says it quickly and clearly. Short, but to the point. Got it?"  
  
"Yes, Xander, but they way in which I talk is not currently our main concern. Apart from the, er, general public, Buffy is." Giles was tired - he'd been up all night worrying about Buffy - and on the verge of losing his temper. However, he tried to remain patient with Xander. If there was to be a discussion about his use of the English language - which was, after all, his native tongue - it could wait. Xander might just be trying to think about something other than Buffy because he was so worried. The boy could still have that crush on her, in spite of everything.  
  
* * * * * "Are you sure you don't want anything, honey?" Joyce Summers asked her daughter.  
  
"I'll be fine, Mum, but you could pull the curtains so that Angel can come near me without, y'know, turning to dust." Buffy had told her mother about her being the Slayer, as well as everything about her relationship with Angel. Her mother also knew that Angel was a vampire and would explode in direct sunlight. She crossed the grey-carpeted room and pulled the white curtains together.  
  
"I'll leave you two in peace. Just call if you need anything." Joyce realised she made it sound like she lived somewhere else and was asking her daughter to 'phone her, but she didn't want Buffy getting out of bed.  
  
The Slayer nodded, so Joyce smiled and left. Angel came out of the shadowy corner of Buffy's bedroom and perched lightly on the edge of her bed.  
  
"The sun'll go down soon. You didn't have to ask your mother to do that," he whispered, referring to the curtains.  
  
"She'd never have gone if I didn't. Besides, I wanna talk to you." Having said that, Buffy winced.  
  
"How're the pains?"  
  
"No worse, which I guess is a good thing, but no better, either."  
  
"I wish I could make them go away, Buffy. We're gonna get to the bottom of this, I promise." Angel felt the dark, velvety blanket of night spread over Sunnydale, a false blanket of security that hid and protected monsters such as himself as Buffy answered,  
  
"I know."  
  
The windowpane shattered and fell away deafeningly. Spike's bleached hair appeared, followed by the rest of his head. Drusilla's face also came into view, the top of the red sleeveless dress that was designed to impress coming into sight.  
  
"Aren't you going to invite us in? You owe it to Dru. After all, you did drive her nuts." The dry humour was directed at Angel.  
  
"Come in an' you're dead," Angel growled. Spike laughed as he and Drusilla clambered through the window.  
  
"We're already dead, mate. Thanks for the invite." Spike turned to look at his girlfriend. They'd come back to Sunnydale for some fun with the Slayer. "You get the girl. I'll take care of Soul-Boy here." 


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Angel reacted quickly. He punched Drusilla in the face, following through with another. With Angel occupied, however, Spike was able to pinch Buffy from her bed.  
  
"Let's get out of 'ere, Dru!" he shouted as he leaped out of the window, dragging a struggling Buffy with him. Angel tried to grab Buffy's ankle, but Spike suddenly pulled, hard, at her wrist. Unaware and surprised by the force he'd put into the pull, he let go. Buffy's limp form rolled down the roof and fell through the air, landing on the moist grass with a dull thud.  
  
Angel, Drusilla and Spike all pushed to get through the window at once. Spike dragged a dagger from his boot and swiped at Angel's face, drawing blood. Angel staggered back, leaving room for his children to leap from the roof.  
  
Together, Spike and Drusilla sprinted towards Buffy's limp form. Each grabbing an arm, they dragged her away, into the misty darkness of the night.  
  
Angel knew they had too great a head start, and that the best thing he could do now was go to Giles. But his brain was not able to fully process what had just happened. So he didn't go.  
  
Instead, he screamed.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Willow, seeing as you're in on the magic scene rather more than me, perhaps you could research the spell I believe gas been cast on Buffy. I'll look for anything else that might induce her. symptoms. Xander, could you research into any illnesses with similar symptoms? It's unlikely you'll find anything, but." Giles' voice trailed off.  
  
"On it," confirmed Willow. "Oh, I almost forgot. No, it can wait until another time. I should probably talk to Angel first, anyway."  
  
"It concerns Dead-Boy, then?"  
  
"Uh-huh. And Buffy. But, Xander?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Don't tell Buffy. It may not be good news, and I don't want to get her hopes up."  
  
"My lips are sealed." Xander whipped his hand across his mouth, as if zipping it shut.  
  
Cordelia grimaced.  
  
* * * * * Joyce heard Angel shout from upstairs. She dropped the T.V. remote to the floor, not noticing when the door to the battery compartment broke and the batteries bounced onto the fluffy new carpet. Dashing up the stairs, she shoved Buffy's bedroom door open.  
  
"Buffy.What happened?"  
  
* * * * * Angel heard Joyce thunder up the stairs, but was barely aware of the door being pushed open.  
  
"Buffy. What happened?"  
  
"Buffy's not here, Mrs Summers. I'm sorry. Did she tell you about Spike and Dru?" Angel queried, adding, as an afterthought, "-Silla?"  
  
"Yes. But - what have they got to do with it?"  
  
"I'm so sorry. I couldn't stop them. They just-"  
  
"You. You mean." Joyce was angry, more than anything, and searching for someone else, someone other than herself, to blame. "You just- just let the take her? But, you said you. How could you?"  
  
Joyce burst into tears, but struggled on. "Buffy trusted you more than anything, loved you with a depth I doubt even I know. But that friend of hers, the one that was killed. Kendra. She was right all along." She crossed the room, furiously searching Buffy's drawers, before finding what she was looking for.  
  
"Mrs Summers, please, calm down!" Angel agreed wholeheartedly with most of Joyce's words, but the weapon she brandished was the easy option. And the ease with which she held it was unnerving.  
  
"You are a monster! You should be killed!" she yelled hysterically, before making her final move.  
  
She raised the stake and ran at him.  
  
* * * * * "I'm not sure why it causes pains to the abdomen. The book doesn't say. Headaches I could understand, but. I think you're right about the spell, though, Giles," Willow reported.  
  
"The most tender part of a woman's anatomy, certainly from a magical point of view, is the womb. Yes?"  
  
"So, you're saying the magic's directed there because it's easier to reach than the brain?"  
  
"Precisely. It then mixes with the blood and travels to the brain."  
  
"Okay, I'm gonna ask the dumb and probably really obvious question, here, but, why do the pains keep coming?" Xander asked.  
  
"The magic is constantly pulsing into the body via that point. The build up of pain - and magic in the body - places the victim in even more danger. So much so that witches have been known to intentionally use this particular spell as a. well, as a murder weapon." 


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
"Crystal, stop worrying! You stopped her from fighting, we got 'er. You did your job, and well!" Spike counted five hundred dollars into the witch's hand.  
  
"I hope everything goes well for you. If you need any more spells cast, you know where to find me." She turned and left the tumbledown factory, opening and closing the rotting wooden door with magic. The door slammed shut.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So," Willow surmised, "the spell could kill Buffy. Then we have to break it."  
  
"Actually, given enough time, the spell will definitely kill Buffy if it remains unbroken," Giles corrected.  
  
"Then we break the spell," Xander echoed. "How?"  
  
"I think our first step should be to find Spike and Drusilla; being as they're the biggest threat to Buffy at present, it is fairly safe to assume it is they who are behind this."  
  
"And then what?" Willow frowned, worried about her best friend.  
  
"I should know when we've comple-" Giles began.  
  
"We get Buffy away from them."  
  
Everyone turned to the double swing doors of the library. Angel stood there, a frown upon his face.  
  
"Spike and Dru have Buffy. They came to her place and snatched her from her bed. I couldn't stop them.  
  
"They probably took her to the old factory, but I had to explain things to her mother. By the time we'd both finished, they'd long gone."  
  
"She had finished what, exactly?" Xander asked.  
  
"She was upset, wanted someone to blame. Otherwise she'll blame herself forever. She doesn't want to feel like that."  
  
"So.What did she finish?" Cordelia double-checked the answer Angel had given to Xander's inquiry.  
  
"She almost killed me." Angel knew the rest of the 'Scoobies' had a right to know what had happened, but he couldn't help but be frustrated. They should be helping Buffy, not worrying about what had happened between him and the Chosen One's divorced mother.  
  
"What happened to your face?" Willow's curiosity interrupted Angel's train of thought.  
  
"Spike had a knife or a dagger or something." Angel's response was more long-winded than usual, a sure sign that he was desperately worried. "I only hope I'm right about where they went."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Buffy struggled to sit up. She could just make out the wrought-iron bars of her prison, which had been hollowed out of the rock. She grimaced as the pains in her abdomen increased in intensity, and flopped back down.  
  
Drusilla appeared from behind one of many natural pillars in the cave. The stalactites and stalagmites almost converted the rocky vampire haven into a maze.  
  
"Don't worry, Missy, here, she was very naughty." She held up a blue- haired, blonde-eyed, chubby little doll. "She only got." Drusilla made stabbing motions at the doll's eyes with her index and middle fingers simultaneously.  
  
Buffy shivered, remembering how she'd found Kendra - the Slayer who'd been called during Buffy's brief death - dead. Drusilla had slit the coloured girl with her long nails, having hypnotised her to keep her still.  
  
"Where are they, Sssslayer? Your little bouncing bunny friends?" Drusilla walked her fingers up Buffy's leather-clad leg.  
  
"Rabbits are too cute. You wouldn't like them." Buffy's voice dripped with an icy coldness.  
  
"Oh, but I'd love to watch them tremble. Polly died last night. She stopped singing. I want a new pet!" The vampire started 'sobbing' tearlessly.  
  
"Come now, Dru. You'll have your bunnies. Another bird, if you like." iSo that's who Polly is/i, Buffy thought.i Drusilla's latest dead pet./i  
  
Spike put his arms around Drusilla, coddling her, unaware of her adultery. For Drusilla was seeing a chaos demon - seriously. If Spike found out he'd be more than angry. He might even kill her in his fury, even though it was a serious crime to kill amongst vampires to kill one of your bloodline, especially your sire.  
  
So Drusilla pretended to take comfort in his affections, imagining he was her chaos demon, despite the difference in smell.  
  
And Buffy groaned, felt her womb tense; suffered pain so sharp and so severe that it caused her to lose consciousness. 


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
Angel's face disfigured, becoming feral and vampiric.  
  
"She's not here!" he growled, slamming a fist into the wall of Spike and Drusilla's apparently ex-lair. The derelict factory shook.  
  
"Whoa, man, calm down! We'll find the Buff-ster!" Xander tried to reassure the raging vampire whose soul trapped him in a world of guilt and remorse; a world of darkness pierced only by one lone light: his love for Buffy Anne Summers.  
  
His love for a girl who dreamed of prophesies and battles; then worried about stopping them, or failing to.  
  
"The dream!" Angel muttered. Then, more clearly, "There's one more thing we can try."  
  
* * * * * * Joyce nervously rearranged the creamy, silk-effect cushions of the matching two-seater sofa, and wondered where her daughter had been taken.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Amelia Mariesse swayed in time to the romantic played over the loudspeakers. She mourned her missing boyfriend, Kevin Machia. He'd disappeared three weeks ago, at a beach party. The police had no leads, and Amelia despaired for his safety. She wouldn't let herself even begin to think that he was dead, though. He meant too much to her. He couldn't be. She burst into tears and fled the Bronze.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
There was a blonde girl next to Kevin. She hadn't been there before. He must have drifted off to sleep, or he'd have seen them bring her. She grimaced. Kevin figured she must be in a lot of pain, and wondered what the things that had brought him to his current prison had done to her. She looked dazed; unaware because of her pain. Kevin wondered if she could see him.  
  
Kevin had a sudden rush of feelings for her - iHow can she survive that much pain?/i - yet he desired her like crazy. The lust he felt for her was insane. Her curvy body, her wavy hair. They drew him to her.  
  
"Now, my pretty," said the dark-haired female who poked her dolls' eyes. "You're going to talk to me, and tell me what I want to know. Or you could tell Miss Moonshine."  
  
"If yer don't bloody tell someone, Slayer, I'll be pullin' yer guts out. Angelus would've done that, yer know, before you turned 'im into a bloody pansy."  
  
"Little repetitive, huh, Spike? Missing your blood?" Buffy retorted, smiling sweetly.  
  
Spike snapped at that, marching over and using her hair to pull her ear up to his mouth.  
  
"I could drain you right 'ere, little Slayer. I could turn you so yer blood runs cold and yer forget that poof and spend yer days hiding' out with me, doing that little thing Angel could never get yer to do." With that, he pulled her head round and kissed her roughly on the lips, despite her protests. "Feel." He turned, and sauntered back towards Drusilla, laughing and reaching behind her to bring some chains into Buffy's view.  
  
"Of course, that could only be pain."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"She said her dream was set in a cave, so I think we should look in all the caves below Sunnydale. I know there are a lot, but it'll be worth it if we can find Buffy," Angel explained.  
  
"Okay, so, say we search all the caves and still don't find her. We'll have wasted weeks, maybe months, looking, and have gotten nowhere," Xander muttered bluntly. Everyone heard, but only Angel felt like answering. None of them wanted to point out that at least they'd have narrowed their search, because it still felt like they would be back to square one.  
  
"That won't happen." Angel couldn't contemplate that they wouldn't Buffy, or that they'd only find her body. iNo, don't go there./i "I won't let it." 


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
Buffy struggled vainly against the short chains. They'd been fixed to a stalactite - which was grating against her back - but on the other side from her. She doubted the stalactite would break, as it was quite thick and was long enough that it ended only when the rocky floor of the cavern blocked its way.  
  
"Don't try anything, Slayer. Those chains'll hold, but my temper won't," Spike warned.  
  
The Chosen One continued her struggle. Kevin admired her courage, but was terrified that she was putting herself at unnecessary risk.  
  
A fist shot out, a colossal burst of speed thrusting it harshly into the flesh of Buffy's tender abdomen. The Slayer grimaced, but stubbornly refused to cry out. She wasn't about to give Spike that pleasure.  
  
"Oh, for God's sake, girl, speak!" Spike's good temper dissolved into a handful of atoms that wouldn't have been visible through a microscope and the vampire began hurling punches at Buffy, who groaned and grunted, but held in the raw screams that threatened to emit themselves with vicious brutality.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"Nothing!" Angel's fear for Buffy's life had evolved into a caged, malicious animal locked away inside of him, until it emerged ferociously, attacking even the most remote of threats. He ran his hand through his hair, wishing he could hit something. For the first time, in possession of his soul, at least, he wanted nothing more than to throttle someone.  
  
Xander turned on the panicking vampire.  
  
"I think it's time you and I had words. Or fists, whichever you prefer. But it's your fault Buffy was taken, and I don't think you have the right to shout at us!"  
  
"Xander, Angel is, strictly speaking, neither to blame for this unfortunate incident, nor is he shouting, least of all at us." Giles' quietly spoken words caused Xander to turn on the librarian.  
  
"Don't you lecture me! At least I'm making an effort to find Buffy, not just trailing around after the rest of us!"  
  
"Giles isn't just trailing around! He cares about Buffy just as much as we do, Xander," Willow intercepted, shocked and dismayed by her friend's outburst. They'd never find Buffy that way; surely Xander knew that!  
  
* * * * * * Crystal peered into the still water that filled the silver bowl. Specifically designed for scrying, the bowl was ornately decorated with curling waves and pairs of hands with touching fingertips. A dainty golden chain hung from the rim, kept in place by several miniature brackets that were invisible to the naked eye. Several trinkets dangled form this chain, including tiny shards of all the most prominent rocks and gems in witchcraft, cut with meticulous precision.  
  
The young witch placed Buffy's press-on nail in the water with shaking hands. If it sank, like so many things had when she'd tried scrying in the past, the boy was doomed. When the nail floated like a water lily, Crystal released a huge sigh of relief.  
  
Now she'd completed that step, she relaxed her mind, allowing it to drift anywhere it wished, unheeded. Drawn to her last thought, its last attachment to it's owner, Crystal's mind wandered, as expected, to the nail. As the cave where Buffy was being kept came into view, she pulled her mind a little closer back to her body. She had to help the boy.  
  
As a witch, she had no qualms about hurting the Slayer, who would surely kill her if she knew of Crystal's witchcraft, but hurting someone else was an entirely different matter. 


	8. Chapter 7

Sorry for the long time between updates - mock exams kinda took over my  
writing time. Argh! Thanks to Queen Boadicea for the review.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Xander looked around the cave before entering fully.  
  
"Nothing here, then," he announced. "iAgain./i"  
  
Willow walked further in than Xander. Spying a gap large enough to squeeze through in the wall, she pulled her chest in and gradually eased herself through the gap.  
  
Curious, the others followed, their hearts - with the exception of Angel's - thundering.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
They'd left Buffy alone for a while. Groaning with the torturous pain, she willed herself not to pass out, at the same time wondering if it was worth it. After all, if she was unconscious, she couldn't tell Spike anything, could she? And she wouldn't feel the pain, either.  
  
Buffy's train of thought was disturbed by a figure emerging from a gap in the rock.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Drusilla sensed the presence of humans, a large number of them, by her standards. She estimated at least three of the things had invaded, and intended to let her lover know.  
  
"There are more," she moaned, holding the back of her hand weakly to her forehead.  
  
"More what, pet?" Spike asked, sauntering over to the insane vampire.  
  
"People," she groaned, before grinning sadly: knowingly. "They've come to help the Slayer." She shook as she finished her sentence. Spike drew her into an embrace and kissed her hand.  
  
"We'll deal with them, pet, don't worry."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Kevin heard the girl gasp, and, roused from his daydream, turned his head to see what held her gaze so firmly. iPlease don't be a boyfriend./i  
  
The boy sighed happily when he saw only a girl with ginger hair. When he looked back at the blonde, he tensed. A mixture of shock and pure, unbridled terror was playing across her delicate features.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Willow was the first to move. She had not expected to stumble across her best friend quite so fast. Heaving a sigh of relief, she marched briskly up to Buffy.  
  
"You've got to get out of here, Will," the Slayer gasped. "Spike'll -"  
  
"Oh, don't worry, we'll make it easy on the redhead. She is smart, after all," Spike interrupted. Then, detecting a vampiric presence behind him, "Won't we, Dru?"  
  
"Actually, I was thinking I'd stop you doing anything to Willow."  
  
Spike swung around at the exact moment Buffy's heart leaped. Then Spike growled, accepting Angel's challenge.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Drusilla watched Amelia leave her house, a frown on her face as she worried about her only family; Kevin. Their parents had died two years ago in a car crash and the 22-year-old girl was very worried about her missing younger brother.  
  
The whitewashed pine door of the house slammed shut behind her with just enough force to cause the brass knocker to hit the door soundly only once. Amelia's bad temper made Drusilla smile cruelly as she followed the chestnut-haired girl into the cloaking shadows of an alley leading to The Bronze. The vampire was going to stop Amelia from ever having to worry about her brother again.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Angel rushed Spike, shoving him to the ground and landing on top of him. Struggling, Spike tried to push Angel off of himself, but Xander and Willow grabbed his arms, pinning him down. Angel stood up and went swiftly over to Buffy, using all his strength to break the chains and still barely managing it. The girl collapsed into his arms, short bits of the chains dangling from her wrists. Angel hugged her quickly, glad he could keep an eye out for her safety, and returned to helping the others with the battle.  
  
Spike had managed to escape Xander and Willow's clutches, and began to charge at Buffy. Angel tried to block his way, desperate to keep him from hurting Buffy, but William the Bloody pushed him viciously to the ground.  
  
Buffy, however, saw Spike coming, and sprang, with what little strength she could muster, onto a ledge above the vampire's head. Shocked, Spike paused to gape at her agility, before starting to clamber up the rock face towards her.  
  
* * * * * * Drusilla placed a cold, pale hand on Amelia's shoulder. Startled, the girl turned sharply, softening when she saw who had tapped her shoulder.  
  
"Can I help you?" Her voice was calm and polite; everything you would not expect a worried sister to be.  
  
"I think so. Dinner, perhaps?"  
  
"I don't know.my place isn't in any state for entertaining, and I don't have any money to buy food."  
  
"Don't need money for this food."  
  
"Look, if you're gonna shoplift, fine, but don't drag me into it." Amelia turned to go.  
  
Morphing into her vampiric visage, complete with glistening fangs and glowing golden eyes that radiated evil, Drusilla replied calmly,  
  
"Don't have to pay for this food because it's free anyway." She sank her fangs into the young girl's tender neck, sucking up the thick, nutritious blood with a slight slurping noise.  
  
Amelia's scream caused Drusilla to chuckle against the girl's neck with glee, spilling blood but never pausing her drinking. Kevin had no one left to come home to. 


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
Looking around for something to deter Spike, Buffy spotted several bottles of Holy Water wearing string scarves with price tags from the magic shop attached. Buffy had a vague memory that the shop had been burgled just over a week ago, and assumed the bottles were part of the loot. The shopkeeper, of course, was dead. Spike obviously hadn't noticed the bottles, though, and Buffy could use that to her advantage. She didn't really care how they'd gotten there.  
  
Noticing Spike getting too close for comfort, Buffy grabbed one of the bottles and smashed it over his head. He yelled and fell backwards, hitting the ground hard.  
  
Glancing up to see how the others were doing, she noticed swarms of vampires streaming into the cave. Spike's followers attacked her friends venomously, but the Slayerettes gave as good as they got. Buffy realised, however, that they could not possibly win if the number of vampires kept increasing at this rate. Grabbing a handful of bottles of Holy Water, she yelled Angel's name and held one up for him to see. At his nod, she hurled the bottles she held into the fight.  
  
Angel withdrew from the battle, avoiding the liquid splaying from bottles smashing upon connection with walls or bodies. Over half the vampires were burning, screaming in agony, and more bottles were flying into the fight. Willow was drenched, but continued to fight as well as she could. Angel admired her determination to help her best friend.  
  
The vampires were disappearing. Some were being staked; others were fleeing from the Holy Water. Buffy didn't seem to be throwing any more bottles, so Angel rejoined the fight, helping the others dust the last few vampires.  
  
Meanwhile, Spike was chasing some of those that had run away from the battle. Buffy tentatively eased herself over the ledge and half-scrambled, half-fell down the rock face. Angel was beside her in an instant.  
  
Seeing her boyfriend's concerned face, Buffy smiled weakly up at him to reassure him. Angel brushed a stray strand of hair from her eyes and held her steady. The Slayer felt reality dissolve around her as she relaxed, finally feeling safe in the comforting arms of a loving embrace. Grey dots swirled in front of her eyes and everything went black in steady progression from her peripheral vision.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Drusilla dropped Amelia's limp body to the ground, wondering briefly what crazy new explanation Sunnydale PD would find for the murder, before leaving to meet a new acquaintance of hers; one Spike wouldn't like.  
  
* * * * * * Angel held Buffy tightly to him. When he noticed her grip on him weaken, he murmured gently against her ear;  
  
"Are you okay?" He felt her body go limp, so he swept her deftly into his arms.  
  
Giles glanced over, concerned about Buffy, and saw the question in Angel's eyes. He nodded. They were done here.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Kevin realised they were about to leave and spoke up, terrified they'd tell him to find his own way out.  
  
"'Scuse me? Um, I'm sorry to ask, but, erm, do you know how to get out of here?"  
  
The starchy-looking guy in the tweed jacket smiled, his brown eyes crinkling.  
  
"I don't see why we shouldn't show you out. The usual occupants appear otherwise detained."  
  
Kevin took that as a yes and squeezed between the bars that had previously held him captive to follow the strange group that had come to rescue the blonde girl, this 'Slayer', through the gap in the cave. He only wished she didn't have a boyfriend.  
  
* * * * * * Joyce jerked awake to a frantic banging on the door and leaped out of the cosy green armchair she'd been snoozing in. Her heart soared as she prayed silently that it would be Buffy, home and free of theses mysterious pains. She was disappointed when she opened the door to reveal a girl with jet- black hair and rich brown eyes standing on the concrete step, shifting from one foot to the other and staring at the doorframe.  
  
Suddenly, the girl seemed to notice the door had been opened and pealed her eyes nervously form the doorframe to Joyce's face. She smiled apprehensively.  
  
"I'm terribly sorry to bother you. I'm Crystal Arom - I need to talk to you. You don't know who I am, but.it's about your daughter." 


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
  
Angel laid Buffy down gingerly on his bed, stroking her hair away from her face. He wanted so much to take away her pain, or at least to share in it, lessen it.  
  
"She'll be okay. We'll find something, Angel. I know we will." Willow's voice was sympathetic and oddly reassuring. Angel wished he could believe the words it sounded, but, from anyone else, the words would sound hollow, meaningless, and that knowledge made the 243-year-old vampire unable to trust their truth. Maybe he was scared of getting his hopes up falsely, or maybe his despair was so deep that he had lost all ability to hope, he didn't know. But he did know one thing: Buffy was special, not just as the Slayer, but as a person.  
  
Angel turned to Giles, suddenly frustrated that they had not discovered what caused Buffy's pain. Overcome with emotions - fear, rage, love and sheer panic among the most prominent - he had no idea what to do.  
  
"We need to find out who or what is doing this to her!" His voice was raw. "Giles, if we don't, Buffy could die, and I'm not ready for that!" He choked back a sob and struggled to regain control of his emotions. Giles was unable to reply, swamped by many of the same feelings, so Willow was the voice of reason.  
  
"Calm down, Angel. I know you're worried about Buffy; we all are. But we need to think calmly, or we'll never get anywhere." She paused and took a deep breath, not used to being the one in control. "Now, I'm gonna go on the 'net, see what I can find out. I suggest the rest of you go back to the library, do some research. Angel, we'll all understand if you want to stay here with Buffy."  
  
"Thanks. I want to be here if she wakes up. I know that's not likely at the moment, but. Besides, the sun'll be up soon. Call if you need me."  
  
With that, the others followed Angel to the door, his 18th Century manners still flawlessly intact through anything that might happen.  
  
"Good luck," he murmured to their retreating backs.  
  
* * * * * * "Is Buffy in some kind of trouble?" Joyce asked the strange girl on her doorstep.  
  
"Look, I need to speak with your daughter. Where is she?"  
  
"I'm not sure precisely where she is at the moment, and I'm afraid you can't come in and wait for her."  
  
"I'm not a vampire; however, I do want to stop some. A pair called Spike and Drusilla. I need to find your daughter."  
  
"You don't even know her name, do you? Get lost. You don't know Buffy, and I don't suppose she wants you in her life!" Joyce slammed the door shut.  
  
* * * * * * Angel perched lightly on the edge of his bed and stroked Buffy's hair. He blamed himself for her pain. He should have known, should have stopped it. Maybe she wouldn't be in so much of it if he'd left earlier, when Joyce had told him to. He could never give her children, never marry her lawfully, could not even walk with her in the sunlight, and he hated himself for it. She deserved more; she deserved a man who could share her days with her, make love to her, spend his life with her. He could never give Buffy anything she deserved, and it was unfair to her for him to keep her from these things. He should just go.  
  
Filled with a sudden grim resolve to give Buffy what he owed her, he stood and started for the door. He pulled it wide open, before staggering back with a cry as the sunlight hit his skin sharply. Smoking, he swiftly pushed the door to.  
  
Buffy groaned. If Angel's heart had been beating, it would have leaped. He strode briskly across the room and returned to his perch on the bed, cupping his beloved's cheek with the palm of his hand.  
  
"It's gonna be alright, Buffy," he murmured. "The guys'll find something." With that, he leaned over and placed a tender kiss on her lips. Buffy moaned deep in her throat and responded slightly. Worried she might exhaust herself, Angel pulled back gently. He couldn't remember ever wanting to be with someone this much, not in any of the two and a half centuries he'd been alive; not even Darla had captured his heart and soul the way Buffy did. Of course, she couldn't have captured his soul, but he still never would have broken the First Rule of Vampirehood for Darla. Killing his sire for Buffy had been easy, and he'd do it again readily, but he couldn't imagine it would be the same if it was for someone else.  
  
Buffy's eyelids quivered, and her eyes fluttered open. Gazing down at her, Angel smiled, wondering how he could ever have contemplated leaving her, and praying to whatever gods would listen that she would survive.  
  
* * * * * * Joyce sat limply at the kitchen table, fretting for her daughter's safety and pressing tissues to her eyes in an effort to slow the tears. 


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10  
  
"I can't find anything!" Giles slammed the book shut with one hand and hurled it to the floor. He was seriously stressed out, and developing a migraine.  
  
"Well, I think I might have something. It's nothing new, I can't imagine why I didn't think of it before!" Willow babbled, half-excitedly, half- nervously. Giles shot over to the computer to peer over the girl's shoulder. She pointed at a line of text on the screen.  
  
"See, it says here we have to find the witch, then either get her to tell us what spell she used and find a counter-spell, unless she'll do one for us, or chop off her head. Of course, the 'she' could be a 'he'."  
  
"Well, I have no problem with maimin' and killin'. Didn't think it was your scene, though. Who ya gonna kill?" Faith strutted through the double swing doors and over to the mahogany table, pushing one of Giles' books to the floor to make space for her bottom on the table.  
  
"Hopefully, no one. Faith, this business is about saving lives, not destroying them. If you want to help, please do. If not; get out." Giles responded calmly.  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Faith bounced off the table, nearly knocking over one of the study lamps on it, and marched out of the library.  
  
"Giles?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"How are we supposed to find this witch?"  
  
"I have to say, Xander, that I really have no idea. I did, however, meet Faith and Buffy's new Watcher at a meeting a while back. I expect Wesley Wyndam-Pryce will know what to do for the best."  
  
"What happens if he won't let Buffy hang out with us anymore?" Willow asked softly.  
  
"Then the Council will probably lose Buffy as a Slayer, and we'll help her as before, only without the Council's help."  
  
"Oh. Why didn't you sound sure that this new Watcher will know what to do?" To that, Giles turned to look at Buffy's friends.  
  
"I'm not."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Angel enfolded Buffy gently in his arms, loving her all the more in her vulnerability. Though worry gnawed away at him, it was relaxing to think that he didn't just help her fight demons; that she really did love him, and that he could be there for her in a non-demon capacity.  
  
Buffy moaned faintly and her eyelids fluttered. Angel rocked her tenderly, wondering if she was hungry or thirsty, and whispering stories of his life to her, asking her forgiveness for the things he had done.  
  
"Angel, you know you're already forgiven," she murmured. "I don't think of you and Angelus as the same person anymore. You're too different."  
  
"You sweet," Angel responded, quoting her. "A terrible liar, but sweet." At the feeble swat she gave with the back of her hand, he grinned slightly and added, "That's how I know you weren't lying when you said that. So thank you."  
  
Angel's deft reassurance caused Buffy to smile wanly. Angel returned the gesture, then leaned over and touched a short kiss to her forehead.  
  
He prayed the others had found something useful as he drew gingerly away form his girlfriend's sweaty body.  
  
* * * * * * A brown-eyed, black-haired girl knocked on the door, pushing it open slightly with her knuckles, then walked shyly into the library. Focusing on Giles, she said quietly, politely,  
  
"I'm so sorry to bother you, but I believe I can help. May I have a word?" Her accent slipped between American and Irish as she posed the question.  
  
"Of course," the English librarian replied genially. "Come this way." He showed her into his office.  
  
The other students in the library simply stood, staring at the retreating tweed.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Angel ripped irately at the packet of frozen blood. He was angry with himself for not being able to help Buffy, and frustrated that Buffy had forgiven him. For Angel's earlier thoughts had returned anew, and he desperately prayed that she would make things easier on him by telling him she couldn't stand the sight of him after what he'd done. At least then he wouldn't have to break up with her.  
  
It wasn't fair of him to stay; he knew that. So why was it so damn difficult for him to leave? Why did he have to keep her locked in the dark of night, why did he expect her to just have a relationship under the cover of darkness like this? It wasn't right, or fair, or logical. As soon as she was better, he'd go.  
  
* * * * * * Buffy lay on Angel's bed, staring up at the grey ceiling, and thought it was exactly like her life - bleak and desolate and lacking smiles and joy. Her heart told her to love Angel, but her head told her it could never work, and she should move on now, while she still could. But how could she do that, when the only peace she could find in her hectic life was with Angel? Her soul, her every atom, wanted him, needed him. Wanted to marry him and love him beyond death; beyond even the end of time. Yet that could never be.  
  
She groaned as the pain escalated to yet greater heights, and allowed her world to slip into the welcoming blackness. 


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11  
  
"Buffy?" Angel gently shook the Slayer. Her limp figure didn't respond. Despondent, he looked sadly at the unconscious girl, and decided he should go now, while she couldn't attempt to stop him. So he left the bedside and, gathering a few packets of blood from the refrigerator for sustenance, lowered himself into the manhole just outside the mansion. He began wading through the miles of sewage and stench that was Sunnydale's sprawling sewer system.  
  
* * * * * * "So, basically, you're telling me that you'd happily kill the Slayer, but no one else?"  
  
"Uh huh. And I think the vampires I was working for are planning something else, something bigger." Crystal had introduced herself to the Slayer's Watcher, Rupert Giles, and was explaining the situation as she saw it.  
  
"Would you agree to cast a counter-spell for the spell you placed on Buffy - the Slayer - if we help you get to the bottom of this?" the Watcher requested.  
  
"Perhaps. She is stronger than most - even Slayers, Mr Giles - if she is still alive. But if the spell is too developed. I'm afraid even a counter- spell might not be able to save her. And if that can't, nothing will."  
  
* * * * * * Buffy groaned. Her eyelids blinked rapidly and her head twisted from side to side. Her eyes flew open.  
  
"Angel?" Buffy looked around. Seeing nobody, she hoisted herself, grimacing, into a sitting position. She called again;  
  
"Anyone?" Immense fear filled her as memories of her last birthday invaded her mind, seeming to dull the pain. She pulled her legs across the bed, then swung them over the edge. Placing both feet flat on the floor, she used her hands to lever herself up. Unsteadily, she made her way to the next dark, shadowed room. Seeing the shaft of sunlight that shone lazily where the open back door should have cast a shadow, she figured either Angel was ash of he'd gone out while it was still dark and not been able to get back in time to avoid the sun. Then she spotted the open manhole.  
  
Buffy collapsed to the ground, tears already streaming down her face. How could he do this to her? How could he leave her?  
  
How could he leave her to die?  
  
* * * * * * Giles knocked on the right-hand door at the front of the mansion. He waited, but there was no response. Behind him, Crystal prayed it was not too late.  
  
Giles knocked again. Nothing.  
  
"Damn it!" he cursed beneath his breath. He backed away from the door, telling Crystal to stay out of the way. He ran towards the double doors and burst through, falling over as they opened with no resistance. They hadn't been locked!  
  
Giles picked himself up, straightened his tie, and walked slowly through the rooms of the mansion, listening to the slight echoes of his every footfall.  
  
"Buffy?" Giles was alarmed to find his Slayer kneeling on the stone floor in floods of tears.  
  
"Buffy?" he repeated, crouching down and putting his arm around her. She rested her head on the tweed shoulder of his jacket as choking sobs shook her body. Giles slid his other arm around her and slowly, gingerly, pulled her into a standing position.  
  
"Shh," he whispered.  
  
"He's gone," she sobbed, the words bringing fresh tears to her eyes. "He's gone, an' I don't know where, but he's gone through the sewers an' he might not come back an' he might be hurt an-"  
  
"Shh. He'll be fine," Giles murmured soothingly, trying to sound positive for her in the midst of his rage at the vampire. How could Angel just up and leave at a time like this? "Calm down and tell us what happened. You're not making any sense, just talking about things as you think them. We just get a lot of disordered nonsense and can't help."  
  
"Angel." She pulled her head away from Giles' shoulder and sat on Angel's bed. "He's gone. I don't know when, or why, or where, or if he'll come back. He went into the sewers, so it was probably day, or close to it." She left out the words she was thinking above all the others: i What if he's hurt? Or dead? /i  
  
"What's that? Your precious little lover-vamp run off? Can't say I'm surprised really. Probably wants someone with a bit more experience, if you catch my drift."  
  
The trio spun around in near-perfect unison. Faith stood in the room's wide stone doorway, her hair gleaming from a recent wash.  
  
"What did you say?" Giles had never heard Buffy so angry as when she posed what was really more a statement than a question.  
  
"You heard," Faith shot back, before spinning on her heel and marching away. Apparently she didn't like long confrontations.  
  
Buffy stood frozen, tense, her fists clenched.  
  
"Was it just me, or did this room just get real hot?" Xander asked, walking in with Willow as Faith marched off.  
  
"Oh, it got hot. Buffy fumed. Now we have to lower the temperature," Willow hinted.  
  
"Sorry, guys. It's just. You know," Buffy apologised.  
  
Willow simply nodded, gazing at her friend sympathetically. Buffy could have cried.  
  
* * * * * * "I need to know why I'm here. On the planet. I was told you were the best person to speak to." The dark-skinned, white-haired old woman Angel had addressed grinned a toothless grin.  
  
"You may be right there," she said in a cracked voice. "Take a seat."  
  
Angel sat down on the straight-backed wooden chair across the desk from Madame Tullulah. The elderly woman folded her hands together on the mahogany desktop and leaned towards the vampire, her bottom rising slightly off the plastic chair she sat on. She had inherited the desk from her grandmother, and it sparkled with furniture polish, but otherwise the room was sparse and bare.  
  
"You are supposed to be elsewhere," she started, closing her chestnut eyes. "A close friend of yours, Burfy or something, needs you, now more than ever."  
  
"Buffy. Her name's Buffy."  
  
"Whatever. She needs you." 


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12  
  
"What are you saying? That you can't help her, or that you just won't?" Xander pointed the finger of blame at Crystal as the Scoobies sat around the study table in the library.  
  
"The kiss, and blessing, of a vampire is essential. Without it, the spell will only kill her faster. It won't even ease her pain."  
  
"But she's the Slayer. You won't get that from a vampire. They'll just kill her!" Xander desperately searched for a way around the situation.  
  
"Angel wouldn't."  
  
"Yeah, Will, but. I don't mean to rub it in, Buff, but he kinda isn't here."  
  
Tears welled in Buffy's eyes, but she blinked them back, allowing herself to sag more in her chair instead.  
  
* * * * * * "Why does she need me? I have nothing to offer her; I can't even give her children!"  
  
Madame Tallulah was silent for a moment, before saying cryptically,  
  
"Talk to her about the children part. I think you'll be surprised." Then, abruptly, "You may go. I won't charge you for my services this time, but next time."  
  
Angel nodded and rose to leave, thanking her as he pulled the door to until it clicked shut. He wondered how Buffy might need him, and what the elderly woman had meant when she had told him to talk to Buffy about children. Buffy, he was sure, knew what having babies entailed - so why was it so important for him to go back?  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"Well, we gotta do somethin'. We can't just let Buffy die!" Xander protested.  
  
"I'm afraid there's not much we can do. If we could find this vampire that loves Buffy - Angel, did you say? - we might be able to give it a shot, though," Crystal responded.  
  
"Then we'll just have to find him," Willow said, resolve face plastered over her features as she looked around the group. "Won't we?"  
  
* * * * * * Angel had moved quickly. Barely three nights since he'd left Sunnydale for L.A., he was less then five minutes drive away from home and wishing Buffy was sitting beside him in his black 1986 Plymouth Belvedere GTX. With a little luck, he would just manage to find cover before the sun was high enough to incinerate him.  
  
* * * * * * Buffy sat staring silently out of her window, one hand resting on the white duvet cover. She pondered where Angel might be, what he might be doing. Tears began to trickle down her cheeks; she was unaware of them. As her vision blurred and she came to realise she was crying, the knowledge of her tears made her cry all the more. Despairing of all happiness, she allowed herself to sink into the hopeless inferno that was Hell.  
  
* * * * * * Angel huddled in what little shade the tiny-leaved tree in Buffy's front garden had to offer. He knew he would have to move before midday, or he would be unable to shield himself from the sun any longer. The sun was already up, however, and if he moved, he would face the same danger.  
  
* * * * * * Buffy was pulled from her trance as she sensed a still vampire. She blinked and glanced out of her window. Why could she sense a vampire when the sun was beating down from the sky? She stood up and crept to the window, peering out. She was both shocked and surprised to see Angel huddled under a tree looking worried, and fled her room, bounding down the stairs. Swiftly, she crossed the grass to the tree.  
  
"I. I thought you'd."  
  
"Shh. It's okay. I'm here now." Angel hugged Buffy, pulling her closer to him. He kissed her hair and pulled her even nearer to his cold skin in his desperate want and need for her and to be with her. But that could never be.  
  
He felt her stomach contract and her brow crease as she winced.  
  
"Shh," he whispered, huddling under his duster as he guided her towards her house. "It's okay now. It's gonna be alright."  
  
* * * * * * Giles hurled the hardback book to the ground. There was nothing in Angel's history to give any clue as to where they might find him, as he rarely returned to a place he had been previously.  
  
Frantically, Giles pushed his spectacles back up his nose and reached for another of the Watcher's Diaries from Angel's time as Angelus, and groaned at the enormity of the task that lay before him.  
  
* * * * * * Angel tenderly lowered Buffy's head to her pillow. She looked happy yet pained and distressed and it saddened him. He wished she could have an easy life, with everything laid before her on a bed of roses. Experience had taught him that it was not the best way to be brought up, but it had to be better than Buffy's existence as the Slayer.  
  
"Buffy?" he half-whispered.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Someone I met when. I would have used being unable to give you children as an excuse to leave. She said I should talk to you about it. that I'd be 'surprised'."  
  
Buffy was silent for a time, thinking of how to answer her beloved's question. She wasn't sure if it was something she was ready to share with anyone yet. but he deserved to know.  
  
"When I . When I was born, they had to remove my ovaries. There were tumours in both - they'd seen them growing on the ultrasounds. It would've been easier for them to remove my whole reproductive system, but Mum didn't want that. Said there was more hope if they didn't. But I've never had a period in my life."  
  
"Why did you say that maybe you'd have children someday? When we were talking in the cemetery, just before you're seventeenth?"  
  
"I'm not sure. I just. I didn't know how to tell you, or even if I was ready to tell you. I didn't want to have to think about it. I didn't want to think about how you'd feel about me once you knew."  
  
Slowly, Angel nodded. He lovingly drew Buffy up to him, noticing the tears glistening in her eyes. It had apparently been hard for her to express what was reality. Angel wondered if Buffy even accepted it.  
  
He felt his shoulder become damp under his black polo-neck top, and remembered slinging his duster over the handrail of Buffy's stairs as if he lived with her. God knows he wished he did. wished he could.  
  
"I'm never leaving you, Buffy. Not now, not ever. It hurts too much to be for the best, and even if it is. I can't do it. I can't live without you anymore. It's too hard."  
  
"But I'll die, one day. What'll you do then?" Buffy raised her head to look at Angel curiously. He fingered her tear stained cheeks gingerly and whispered,  
  
"I'll die." 


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13  
  
"I can't believe we failed!" wailed Drusilla, trembling. "We should have had her, and her pretty friends, too!"  
  
"We'll have 'em next time, pet. I know we will." Spike dropped his Marlborough cigarette and stamped on it with his heavy black boot.  
  
"But we should have them now! Why can't we have them now?" she moaned, doubling over.  
  
"Tonight, pet," Spike answered, pulling his paramour upright, "I'm in a killing mood. Yer want me ter kill 'em? I thought you wanted to do the spell?"  
  
"I do, but." Drusilla's voice trailed off. She walked around Spike and slid her slender fingers over the golden stalactite where Buffy had been chained. "Let's get 'er, Spike. Tomorrow, when she goes out to patrol."  
  
* * * * * * "It says here that a witch can be summoned by vampires when the stars have just moved out of alignment. She will serve the vampires for up to seven months, and for each month she serves them, they must wait a year before they can summon her again, or she'll kill them," Willow read from the computer screen.  
  
"D'you suppose Crystal was summoned?" Xander queried.  
  
"It is possible. Perhaps we should ask her should we cross paths again." Giles returned to his books, adding, "That information, however, is not terribly useful or important."  
  
"Yeah, but then we're not finding anything, and its more important than nothing," Xander stated.  
  
"Yes, I was summoned. Alright? They were nicer than most; paid me. But they hurt people. They freed me, and now I'm on your side. So who cares if they summoned me?"  
  
"We don't, but it's all we've got, or we wouldn't even have noticed it," Willow pointed out. "It may or may not be important. Though I have to wonder why you care so much."  
  
"I. I don't." Crystal stuttered.  
  
"Alright, spill, what's the big?"  
  
* * * * * * "Big? There's nothing, much less somethin' big, so why are we talking about it?" Crystal shook as she babbled.  
  
"I don't think you're getting me. By 'big', I don't mean 'huge' or 'the opposite of small'. I mean 'what's going on that has you so nervous'?"  
  
"Oh. Um, I really should talk to Buffy about it first."  
  
"You can tell us. We're Buffy's friends," Willow encouraged.  
  
Crystal paused, then nodded her consent.  
  
"Okay. There can be a. complication with a counter spell cast on a spell performed for another. Even if the rest of the spell goes according to plan, if those the spell was originally performed for interrupt in any way, then."  
  
"Then. what?" Giles put forward tentatively.  
  
"Then the person or thing on which the spell is being placed - in this case, your friend, the Slayer - will die."  
  
* * * * * * Kevin slumped back against the wall of his prison. The one with the bleached-blond hair - hadn't someone called him Spike? - had caught him again, locked him up again. Apparently Kevin was 'bait' for the Slayer.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Buffy smiled sadly.  
  
"You're already dead."  
  
"Than I'll die again." Angel tenderly stroked Buffy's hair, then lay her back down and brushed her lips with his.  
  
"We can't. I can't." Angel trailed off. "I wish there was some way we could be together. There's nothing I want more."  
  
"Me, too."  
  
Angel gazed intently into Buffy's eyes, amazed that he saw his love for her mirrored there. He felt an overwhelming urge to get into the bed with her; he fought to resist. But it was one battle he would almost certainly lose.  
  
* * * * * * Angel pressed his lips more firmly to Buffy's as he lay partially across her body.  
  
"Angel," she gasped. "We can't. your soul. the curse!"  
  
"Shh! It doesn't matter. I can't stop thinking about it, so I'll not forget the people I hunted. killed. So I won't be truly happy, will I?"  
  
"I guess, but. you never know. We should still be careful."  
  
Sighing, Angel nodded and moved away from Buffy.  
  
"I know." The pain of his barely expressed love for the girl in front of him gave Angel's voice an edge that brought tears to the Slayer's eyes as he sat back on the chair he's placed beside her bed. 


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14  
  
Joyce Summers jumped up as the phone in her office at the gallery rang. Please let it be Buffy, she prayed. Oh, God, please let it be her.  
  
"Hello, Sunnydale Art Gallery, how can I help?"  
  
"Mrs Summers, it's Willow. I just called to let you know Buffy's gone home. We still haven't found Angel, but he won't be able to stay away long. He loves Buffy. He'll be back."  
  
"Thanks, Willow. Is she okay?"  
  
"She's as well as anyone expected. We're working on a cure, but we need Angel for it."  
  
"If I see him, I'll tell him to call you."  
  
"Thanks, Mrs Summers. 'Bye." With that, Willow hung up.  
  
* * * * * * Buffy groaned and struggled to sit up.  
  
"I'll go," Angel murmured. He stood regretfully and went downstairs to investigate the crashing he and Buffy had heard  
  
Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, he paused, unsure which room to check first. As he stood pondering the options, a cold draft hit him, rustling his coat on the banister.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"This just gets simpler and simpler, doesn't it?" Xander commented sarcastically.  
  
"If we can keep them from knowing, and find this Angel, there should be no problem. One can never guarantee, of course, but there are no other written complications," Crystal promised.  
  
"When does the counter spell have to be performed by to ensure the proper results? We want to help Buffy, not kill her," Giles reminded the group.  
  
"Preferably by the end of the day, but the next full moon should be acceptable."  
  
"That's tomorrow, though," Willow noted anxiously. This provoked yet another worried jab from Xander.  
  
"No other complications, huh?"  
  
* * * * * * Kevin shied away from Drusilla. She endeavoured to coax him nearer to her, telling him she'd starve him before poking his eyes out and slitting his throat and draining his blood.  
  
Kevin gulped, redoubling his efforts to escape.  
  
"Leave 'im, pet. The Slayer might want proof he's alive."  
  
Drusilla let out a long whine at Spike words.  
  
"We could cut off a lock of his hair. Feed it to the Slayer in her dreams. Then he wouldn't have to be alive."  
  
"Later, pet. Later."  
  
* * * * * * Angel walked into the living room and found the cause of the cold draft.  
  
There was a gaping, jagged-edged hole in the central point of Buffy's front window. A modern red brick lay on the cream carpet; a piece of paper was tied to it with a length of shabby rope.  
  
Angel started walking towards the brick, guessing there was a note on the piece of paper tied to it.  
  
But he'd forgotten about the sunlight.  
  
* * * * * * Giles put his car in gear and fastened his seat belt. Beside him, Willow prepared a list of everything Crystal would need for the spell. Giles was dropping the red-haired girl off at the magic shop, before going to Buffy's house to explain the situation and ask for her help in locating Angel. He knew it would be hard on her, but he saw no other option.  
  
"This is a very rare form of seaweed, Giles. They might not have it in a magic shop as small as Sunnydale's."  
  
"Let's just hope they have. We'll be in a lot of trouble if they don't."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Hissing, Angel drew back, his vampire visage revealed. His bare skin was smoking from its short exposure to the sun, especially his hands - his dark clothing protected most of his skin.  
  
A quick check showed up the candle-flame that had caught on his upper arm. Grimacing at the burning sensation, he dropped to the ground. The flame died just before it caught his top.  
  
Angel shakily pushed himself upright. Knowing he could not reach the note until sunset, he turned and climbed wearily back up the stairs to Buffy's room.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Giles pulled up outside Buffy's house. As he crossed the lawn, he noted the smashed window and increased his speed.  
  
He was surprised at how quickly the door opened when he knocked. He'd expected Buffy to have trouble getting to it, even supposing she was still conscious.  
  
When the figure that opened the door stood shrouded in shadows, as if reluctant to leave them, Giles became panicky. He withdrew a stake from the pocket of his tweed jacket and swiftly stepped inside.  
  
"What've you done to Buffy?" he growled as the vampire shut the door.  
  
"Relax, Giles, it's only me."  
  
"Angel? But. Oh, thank the Lord!"  
  
Angel frowned. Catching the confused look, Giles explained,  
  
"This whole thing with Buffy? It appears the counter spell requires a few. unusual ingredients, to say the least. Willow's getting those now, with any luck. But there are two other. requirements."  
  
"And at least one of them has to do with me," Angel finished for him.  
  
Nodding, Giles elaborated,  
  
"For the spell to stand any chance of working, the loving kiss of a vampire is rather essential. I'm not sure what it does, exactly, but apparently without it, we'll just be speeding up the process that will eventually lead to Buffy's torturous death."  
  
Had there been any blood flowing through the veins and arteries in Angel's face, he would have paled noticeably. As it was, a fresh bout of fear for Buffy welled up inside him, and an urge to protect her simmered to the surface.  
  
"We have to help her," he snarled, his vampire visage overpowering his handsome human features. A lone tear trickled down his cheeks. Turning away, he forced the tears back, so as not to upset Buffy, and led Giles up to her room.  
  
* * * * * * Buffy hated herself for being so useless. She was the Slayer. She should be out fighting demons, not cooped up in bed with a dangerous longing to release some of her large stores of pent up energy.  
  
Mind over matter, she thought. It doesn't hurt that much, and if Angel comes back I can always say I need to use the bathroom.  
  
She struggled to sit up in her bed, hating herself all the more when it proved too painful and she collapsed, her head thwacking softly against the pillow. 


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15  
  
Angel tentatively pushed Buffy's door open, unsure what to expect. He'd been gone longer than expected, and Buffy had every right to be angry, but, knowing her, was probably worried instead. No doubt, she'd be struggling to sit up and make herself useful. What he actually saw took him completely by surprise, and Giles noticed.  
  
"What is it? What's wrong?" Giles pushed around Angel's body to see what had stopped the vampire in his tracks.  
  
Buffy lay almost entirely still, a peaceful figure breathing regularly. If not for the hint of a grimace that marred her face and the slight sheen of sweat that had broken out on her forehead, she would have appeared to be in no pain whatsoever. Giles and Angel, however, knew better.  
  
Angel crossed the room and sat beside his beloved, taking her right hand and encompassing it protectively in both of his.  
  
"I'll do whatever's necessary to help Bufy," he murmured. "Even sacrifice my soul."  
  
* * * * * * "Hi, guys," Willow fairly whispered as she walked morosely into the library.  
  
"Ya know, Will, we were thinkin', this 'thing' that involves Buffy and Angel? Could it, sort of, maybe. get in the way of Crystal's counter spell? 'Cause if so than it's not worth it. I'm not loosing my best friend for that freak!" Xander said, ignoring Willow's quiet welcome in the same way that she let his comment about Angel slip temporarily.  
  
"Oh, no!" the Wiccan laughed. "I told you, I need to talk to them about it first. I haven't even started getting the things for it yet!"  
  
"Things for it? Okay, here's where you get me lost. What things for what?" Cordelia asked with her usual lack of tact.  
  
"I'll tell you if they say yes," Willow retorted gently, "but right now we have to concentrate on making Buffy better. Oz, you remember what I asked you to learn?"  
  
Oz nodded and recited a string of Latin words.  
  
"Okay, as Oz is saying that, Giles'll scatter the rose petals. Xander, you sprinkle salt over the petals, and Cordy, you follow Xander 'round the circle pouring water over the petals and the salt. Angel will help Buffy drink the potion before kissing her as she swallows. It's relatively simple in theory, but remember, there's a lot that could go wrong."  
  
She turned to Oz. "While you're talking, I'll be saying something else and putting the finishing touches on the potion. There'll be crosses and holy water all round the library and by the entrance - but don't lay those down until Angel's here. Crystal will be trying to stop Spike and Dru causing any interruptions. Okay. I think that's everything."  
  
Willow drew a nervous breath, and jumped when the 'phone shrilled loudly in the silence of the musty tombs of the library.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Groaning, Buffy stirred. Her eyelids fluttered open.  
  
"Hey, honey," Angel whispered lovingly.  
  
"Hey." Buffy smiled back at him wanly, exposing her current helplessness.  
  
"Giles is here. He's going to explain the spell Willow found that'll make you better. I'll be back soon okay?"  
  
Buffy nodded, so Angel crossed the room to let the Watcher in. He glanced back as he opened the door, almost wishing he didn't but needing to all the same.  
  
The Slayer was petrified. It wasn't supposed to be this way.  
  
* * * * * * Giles stood in shock. He hadn't even thought to move up the stairs. One shaking hand clasped the note that had been tied to the brick in Buffy's living room as myriad ludicrous thoughts ran through his head. The only rational thought he could form was that something had to be done, though he had no idea what.  
  
"Giles?" Angel arrived in the living room only to be silently passed a note on a torn piece of paper. He skim-read it, but even the jist told him enough that he glanced sharply up at the librarian.  
  
"You know what this means? They want her, Giles, and they've recaptured the kid from the cave to do it. She'll go after him, and they know it. But I can't let her do it, Giles, I just can't!"  
  
Although he was fairly sure what Angel was getting at, Giles felt he had to ask anyway, if only to make the vampire more aware of his presence. Angel's answer confirmed his suspicions.  
  
"It'll kill her."  
  
* * * * * * "We have Kevin. Tell the Slayer she must come, alone and unarmed, to our cave or we will torture him to death." The line went dead.  
  
* * * * * * Giles left Buffy to rest, having explained the spell to her in detail. Angel went in and sat silently beside her sleeping form, aware that she was not really resting.  
  
Buffy reached out as if to grab something, and seemed to be pushing against something as though she were restrained. Tears slipped down her pale cheeks even as she slept and she cried out but one heart-wrenching word;  
  
"No!"  
  
Angel knew from the aura coming off the Slayer that she was having a prophetic dream, or he would have woken her and held her to him; comforted her. But he knew how important this dream could be; knew that she had to see it through. If she didn't the results could be fatal.  
  
A fresh wave of fear shot through her tiny frame and the intensity of her sobs became almost maniacal. As she reached the peak of terror in the dream, she was jolted from it and her eyelids whooshed open.  
  
"What did you dream?" Angel hated having to ask when her hazel eyes oozed terror and tears.  
  
"You remember the dream I was telling you about in the cemetery? Before. Before all this began?" Still weeping, she struggled to regain her composure.  
  
"You had the same dream?" Angel inquired, already knowing the answer would be yes, and that that would provide the final piece of evidence that the dream was prophetic, even without the heavy aura that surrounded his beloved when she had a prophetic dream.  
  
Melancholy, Buffy nodded. Angel spotted the glistening build up of tears welling in her eyes and crushed her to him, comfortingly stroking her back and murmuring nonsense into her ear. At that moment, more than any other, and for no obvious reason, he wished they could be together; wished they could take their relationship all the way. But that would make him happy, which, in turn, would lead to Buffy's persecution and death. Angel was not going to let that happen.  
  
Buffy sniffled as her warm tears dampened Angel's shoulder through his top.  
  
"Shh. It'll be okay." Angel rocked her tenderly and kissed her hair. "It'll be okay."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Kevin cringed. It wasn't fair! That girl, whoever she was, whatever being the 'Slayer' meant, did not deserve to die. Hers was the kind of beauty that should grace this earth for all eternity. Kevin, heedless of the fact that she was 18 while he was just 14, had hoped she would notice him until her boyfriend had shown up. Now, though, he just prayed that she couldn't care less about him and his miserable life, so that she would not risk her own life to save him.  
  
Not that his life was really that miserable. He knew fun; had had good times. He remembered happiness and a mother's love. He'd been turned down for a part in an anti-spot cream commercial, but been offered a place in the best drama school in the state. He'd fallen and hurt his wrist, but it had gotten him out of a handwriting test when he was younger.  
  
He'd been captured by monsters, but glimpsed the girl of his dreams.  
  
Oh, yes, he'd seen her all right. Seen her get tortured, seen the torment she suffered at the hands of some of nature's most revolting creatures. Seen the primal terror in her eyes. Seen enough to know she was no ordinary person. So who was she?  
  
One thing Kevin did know about her was that she wasn't going to get hurt for him. He would make sure of that - he just wished he knew how. 


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16  
  
Buffy stood shaking in the library. Angel was beside her, supporting her while the others nailed crucifixes to the outside of the library doors and poured Holy Water beneath them. His gaze was fixated on the nearly complete potion on the study table in front of his girl.  
  
Willow straightened and walked over. She felt she had to warn her friend about the side effects the potion could have on her, both short and long term.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"There's something. different about you, Crystal. Dru here thinks you're hiding something," Spike said carefully, feigning a caring attitude. "You wouldn't hide anything from us, would you?"  
  
"Of - of course not. You summoned me. Why would I lie to you?"  
  
"To protect someone. To keep us here. There are a thousand reasons why you might lie."  
  
"But I'm not! I'm telling you everything, I swear!"  
  
"See, that's where I disagree. I think we should go see the Slayer's Watcher. Bash 'im up a bit, find out what's goin' on. Come on, Dru, pet. We're out to kill, an' we're out to kill the Slayer."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"It'll increase the pain terribly, but it should fade after a few seconds. It looks like we're about ready. You okay to start?"  
  
Buffy took a deep breath.  
  
"As I'll ever be."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Spike headed toward Sunnydale high, Drusilla following close behind. As he strode cockily onto school grounds towards the school building and the library, his rage built. He wanted answers - and he wanted them now.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Willow stopped chanting and handed the now complete potion to Angel, before murmuring a protection spell for Buffy.  
  
Angel, still supporting Buffy, who was already in slightly more pain than before, watched silently as Willow scattered rose petals on the floor around him and Buffy. At Willow's nod, he brought the potion up to Buffy's lips and helped her to take some into her mouth. Then he pressed his lips to hers and kissed her passionately, massaging her throat to help her swallow.  
  
Buffy had been returning the kiss, but a mere two seconds after swallowing she pulled away, gasping. Her face was pallid and twisted into a contorted mask of agony.  
  
"Bloody 'ell!" Spike crashed into the library, and decided to press the advantage of having an unconscious Slayer on the floor in front of him. He bared his fangs.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Crystal grabbed Kevin and fled the vampires' cave. Running, she told Kevin to go home and say he'd been at a friend's house, he'd thought his parents knew. He mustn't tell anyone what had actually occurred.  
  
Then, paying no attention to whether or not the boy was doing what she had told him to do, she sped off in the direction if the highschool.  
  
* * * * * * Spike was on top of Buffy before anyone had even realised that he'd moved.  
  
Angel was the first to react. Moving at the speed of light, the vampire pulled Spike from Buffy, but the younger vampire's fangs had already pierced her neck. Spike held on vigorously, forcing Angel to let go; if he pulled, the cuts would become longer and have a greater potential for fatality. So Angel let Spike feed.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Crystal bounded into the library and slipped on the wet floor. The sound of her body crashing to the floor raised everybody's heads - including Spike's.  
  
"Accio!" yelled the young witch. Spike flew away from Buffy and landed in the Holy Water that already soaked Crystal.  
  
"Shit! D'you 'ave to do that, yer bitch?! Me an' 'oly fuckin' Wa'er, we don' mix!"  
  
Angel, who was at Crystal's side by now despite the Holy Water, shoved Spike facedown in the blessed water. Then he staked the vampire who'd gone after his mate.  
  
Glad of the thickness of his boots, Angel left the water unburned and returned to kneel at Buffy's side and cradle her head tenderly in his strong hands.  
  
The Slayer groaned, stirring. She looked around and struggled to get up, but Angel gently pushed her down.  
  
"Anyone got a cloth or a bandage or something?" he enquired.  
  
"What?" Buffy demanded, sitting up and realising she could feel blood trickling down her neck.  
  
"Shh. Lie down. It'll be okay," Angel reassured her. He took the clean handkerchief Giles offered and pressed it to his beloved's neck.  
  
The blood saturated the thin material instantly, but Oz emerged from Giles' office with the news that an ambulance was on its way.  
  
Holding a second slip of fabric to Buffy's torn neck, Angel stroked her hair and murmured words of comfort to her in Gaelic; words that seemed to comfort her even though Angel doubted she could possibly know their meaning. The ambulance would arrive soon, and the counter spell seemed to have worked. At least, his girlfriend was no longer noticeably in pain. It would be alright. It had to be.  
  
* * * * * * Buffy was hooked up to a packet of cold blood not unlike those Angel fed from, except that it contained human blood. She slept peacefully, but Angel barely noticed.  
  
His eyes honed in on the gauze wadding protecting the twin puncture marks on her neck from the air. He'd allowed Spike to do that to her, and, granted, he'd made Spike pay, but that didn't change what he'd allowed to happen. She could have died because he, her Guardian Angel, had failed to protect her. That was not something he even had the right to ask her forgiveness for, but he knew he would anyway. He never could keep something like that from her.  
  
Buffy's eyes flickered open and she smiled up at him.  
  
"I'm okay," she whispered, seeing the concern in his eyes.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Buffy. I let you down so badly. I should've reacted faster, or been more forceful when I did react, or. I should've done something."  
  
"Don't blame yourself, Angel. Way Giles tells it, I'd be dead by now if you hadn't been there. It wasn't your fault."  
  
"I should've done more. You shouldn't be here now!"  
  
"You did your best, Angel, and I'm still alive because of it. Because of you. Angel, nothing means more to me than you, nothing, and you've saved my life more times than I can count. Now you've saved it again - twice. You really are an Angel, so stop doubting yourself and kiss me!"  
  
Angel grinned, bending over and touching his lips lightly to hers. Now that logic he could agree with.  
  
The End - what did you think? Awful? Okay? Let me know.  
  
Please go on to Soul Searching, the second part in the Shattered Souls  
Trilogy. 


End file.
